Scrawled Memories

2009-03-14T19:36:00.000+08:00

Bwee hee hee! From 3.23 to 3.45! :D

Call me proud, or whatever, but I still love my results. :3

2009-02-17T11:29:00.001+08:00

Unrequited love is painful, isn't it? (:

2009-01-26T22:31:00.006+08:00

This is week is going to be the biggest "O-M-G-I'M-GOING-TO-DIE" week. Why? Because I just realised all my deadlines are due NEXT WEEK! Like week 16 and 17. DIE! GG! Good job Rachel! Let's see what I have left to do...

Interface Design (Due Week 16, Tues 3/2)
`Do up a simple logo
`Re-Slice my layout
`Code the template to apply to all the pages
`Arrange all the information (10 pages worth)

Multimedia Project 1 (Due Week 17, Mon 9/2)
`Sketch the scenario slides
`Scan the sketches in
`Do the so called "Line-Arting"
`Put it into Power Point and make it look nice

Communication Skills (Due Week 17, Wed 11/2)
`Oral Presentation Preparation

Digital Tools and Techniques (Due Week 17, Thurs 12/2)
`Colour my Final Logo
`Name Card Design
`Letter Head Design
`Poster Design
`3 Postcards
`Add a rationale to my logo
`Print it all out

It's okay, I'll get through this. I always do. It's going to be fine, everything will be okay...

......

DAMMIT, I'M SCREWED! DIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

So let's see, I'll just try and finish up my MMP1 and IDES this week so that I'll have more time to do my other stuff. Hmmm...

This Week:
`DinC - JUST DO IT!
`IDES - Finish layout, code the template to fit all the pages and do up ALL 10 PAGES, leaving me the proposal
`MMP1 - Sketch out all the scenes out for the scenario and scan them into my laptop as well as do up ZOHO
`DTAT - Finish adding colours to the logo, finish the designs for name card, letter head and do at least half a poster design (BRAINSTORMING)
`CMSK3 - Ah, who cares?

Which means...

NEXT Week:
`IDES - MONDAY MUST do up the slides!
`MMP1 - Do up the line art, colours and THEN Power Point Slides
`DTAT - Finish the poster design and finish up postcard designs
`CMSK3 - Plan what to say

Which leaves...

The FOLLOWING Week:
`IDES - Presentation
`MMP1 - Presentation
`DTAT - Get the stuff printed, MUST MUST MUST! And then PRESENTATION!
`CMSK3 - Presentaion

Wow, I'm so going to die this week. Hahahaha!

By the way, I got a new brown jacket from IP Zone today. (:

2009-01-25T23:56:00.002+08:00

Someone please tell me, why exactly am I hated so much?

Is it just because I'm different? Because I choose to be who I am?

If you can't accept me for me, then it's okay to just tell me you know. I won't hate you, I'll just simply leave because in the end that's what everybody wants, for me to leave, to go off and carry on being the fool that I am. I've always wondered what would happen if I were to just step off the face of the earth. Would anyone notice? Would anyone be sad? Or would my disappearance be celebrated like how people celebrate birthdays?

Actually, people don't notice the difference between the real me and the fake me, they just choose to accept the more outrageous and ignore the lesser, leaving them the impression that I'm bad, but I'm not! People just don't get it. They never will. But still... Why won't anyone just give me that chance?

Oh, that's right, I've already been given that chance, but I chose to ignore it, to pretend the problem did not exist. But running away is tiring and my thoughts just keep attacking me with its vicious truths and lies, so much so that sometimes I get so confused that I believe the lies to be truths and the truths to be lies.

Ah, who gives a damn right? I mean, I'm just another rag doll waiting to be disposed of when its owner gets bored with it. My emotions matter not, as always. Just leave me alone in a corner to rot in despair.

(:

See? Smiley face, so just take it as me being happy as always, alright? After all, I'm just another run of the mill fool with nothing but broken pieces for a heart. (:

By the way, Happy Chinese New Year.

2009-01-25T17:27:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I just hate you so much.

2009-01-21T04:14:00.005+08:00

I know I'm not perfect, and I'd never ask to be perfect. After all, who would want to be flawless? I'm tired though, of people always judging. But then again, I'm the one to blame, as always. Yes, I can be emo. I'm not always happy, though I try to be. I like it best when I'm at home, with no one to judge me or tell me how I should be. Whatever happens, it is my decision in the end. No matter what people say, they can't force me to bend to their will. I am my own individual. But sometimes I do tend to wonder, which is the true me?

You know what? If you hate me so much, why don't you just say it instead of just acting so irrationally and giving me your stinking attitude?

Go on! SAY IT! Instead of just being such a freaking JERK!

2009-01-19T22:03:00.003+08:00

It's NOT A MAGNET! CC and CS tried to con me into thinking what they had in the box was a magnet, and what did it turn out to be in the end?

A highlighter in the form of a flower with the word "Magnet" written in pencil.

-.-"

Not that I actually believed them, though they always do manage to turn my frown upside down. (:

Anyways, as always, I slacked to max during the weekend and slacked even more today even though I had the intention to do my work in the morning. Too many distractions. Bleah... So in the end, I only managed to come up with the concept for my MMP1 scenario, complete with panel plans and for IDES I managed to come up with a layout that I can use and a rough idea for my navigation system.

.......

Ok, maybe I did more than I thought I did. Ah well, tomorrow I'll be waking up at 6am so I can reach school at 8am at the VERY MOST. I'm going to chiong at least ONE good quality page AFTER finishing the complete template thing-a-ma-hoo-ee! Wahahaha!!!! (:

Then there's still a bunch of stuff due on Wednesday, but somehow I don't care. As always.

I just love last minute work that always ends up with me struggling to stay awake at 4am in the morning to finish my work and only getting an hour of sleep. *Grins*

Don't think I'm going to the dinner tomorrow, so yeah...

~~Not that I'm wanted there anyway...~~

2009-01-15T18:18:00.000+08:00

Weird. Just plain weird.

2009-01-14T00:22:00.000+08:00

OOPG Assignment just suuuuuuuuucks, BIG TIME! Everytime I look at the stupid driver class, my mind just blanks out and I'm whisked off to lala-stone land. Big screw up man, hate java. RAAAAAaaaaarrrr!!! So now, I'll just calculate my losses... Assignment is worth 20%, and if I exclude the driver class(5% the very least?) and include a rubbish report, the total loss of marks would be about 9% lost, BEST CASE SCENARIO! Bloody chicken neh neh la!

OOPG Final Grade Prediction
Assignment: 12/20%
Term Test: 9/15%
Lab Test 1: 5.5/8%
Lab Test 2: 6/12%
Examination: 20/40%
Class Participation: 3/5%
Total: 54.5/100%
End Grade: D+ or C? (If I'm lucky)

AH HECK LA! JUST WHACK LA! SI JAVA! SI OOPG ASSIGNMENT! YOU DEFINITELY WON'T COST ME MY F*CKING GPA THIS TIME! RAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!

Enemy, thy name is JAVA! D:

I won't mope about anymore. (:

2009-01-11T02:52:00.001+08:00

Always been wrong, never right...

2009-01-10T11:03:00.005+08:00

The conversation's still stuck in my head, and every time I try to stop thinking about it, the louder it becomes...

2009-01-09T20:40:00.001+08:00

Human
By: Brandy

I'm staring in the mirror and a stranger's looking back
What are you afraid of, girl? The future or the past?
If you wanna see inside of me all you have to do is ask
I cry when you cry, I hurt when you hurt
I've made mistakes but I can't turn back time

I'm only human
Forgive me
(I'm only human)
Love me
(I'm only human)
Save me, save me from myself
(I'm no super woman)
Embrace me
(I'm fragile and broken)
Just like you, oh

I'm perfectly human
I might just tell a lie
I'm perfectly human
But I'm an angel in disguise

2009-01-08T21:12:00.010+08:00

MMP1 Proposal/Report Assignment: A
DTAT Photography Assignment: B+

Still wish I had an "A" for my DTAT assignment though. Bleah... Never mind, just have push for my next DTAT assignment. Raaarrrr!!!!

Things to Do By...

`11/1 Sunday: PC Video Script's First Draft

`12/1 Monday: DinC Tutorial 5

`13/1 Tuesday: IDES Assignment Research

`14/1 Wednesday: CMSK Draft 2

`14/1 Wednesday: OOPG Assignment

`15/1 Thursday: Finalised Logo Design

Unless I start soon, I'm going to die for sure. stupid assignments, or rather stupid procrastinating me. Bleah... x.x"

2009-01-07T21:58:00.005+08:00

Morning: Tired and moody
Afternoon: Still moody, not so tired
End of School: Happy

Why? 'Cause I didn't fail the two tests that I thought I would. Heh heh... Lucky me! Know why I say lucky me? 'cause I kinda risked not studying for those tests, or rather I studied at like super duper last minute. Like for OOPG term test I studied in the wee hours of the morning of the test day itself whilst studying for CMaths by going through like only two practice papers. Hee... :D

Term Test Results
OOPG: 31.5/50
CMaths 2: 35/50

I even remember saying that I'd confirm fail for both, why? Because people were stating all sorts of answers that differed from my own for CMaths and I thought that I wrote absolute rubbish for the OOPG paper. Oh well, I passed, didn't I? :P

I also got back my OOPG lab test today. A solid B+ please! And that's after like 2, 3 hours of cramming tonnes of codes into my head. Haha... I got back my MMP1 report on Monday too, but no marks or grade yet till maybe tomorrow. Hopefully I got a good mark for it, I really want to get a better GPA this semester, though it seems a little impossible with CMSK3 being such a blah subject. Urgh... -.-"

Never mind, now let's just hope that I did well for DTAT's Photography Assignment and MMP1 Proposal. Fingers crossed! :3

Oh, and one more thing...

Happy Birthday Kok Peng! :D

Ciaos <3

I hate feeling this way. I wish that I could forget everything that happened before...

2009-01-06T21:09:00.001+08:00

Three words. Fucking. Bad. Day.

2008-12-30T17:00:00.001+08:00

Don't you just hate it when you start a good, happy conversation with someone, with the intention of it ending on a happy note and in the end, the person just has to shoot at you all the time? Damned irritated... Screw this, aaaahhhhhhhhh.......!

2008-12-30T15:29:00.003+08:00

I'd love to start n my work, but I can't. Why? 'Cause I have a total must-read-a-book kinda mood. Bleah... Nevermind, I'll start on it later, like maybe one hour later... Or maybe after Collin's gathering later... Or maybe tomorrow morning later. -.-"

FOCUS RACHEL! JUST DO THE BLOODY THING NOW AND GET IT OVER WITH. RAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRR!!!!! D:

2008-12-30T14:12:00.002+08:00

What is wrong with this family? Seriously, get a grip! The family doesn't revolve around your insane feuds and meaningless competing. Just grow up, all of you! You all seriously need a reality check. I don't care who is at fault, both parties are equally wrong for being such loggerheads with each other. Can't you all just settle your differences outside of this season of celebrating? Looking at you all, the only impression I get from the both of you is that you're both just competing in a "popularity" contest, about who's better than the other. Such peacocks...

2008-12-30T11:11:00.002+08:00

An act,
A farce,
To hide the pain,
To pretend that she is not insane.

A smile,
A laugh,
A crooked grin,
She acts as if she has no sin.

A wink,
A shrug,
Those careful eyes,
To make sure that she doesn’t cry.

So soft,
Unclear,
She whispers here,
To pretend she’s fine to those held dear.

Sometimes,
Maybe,
You’ll catch a glimpse,
Of the one who has not acted since.

Forget,
You will,
Pretend you never saw,
The girl who was herself no more.

©Rachel Linn Vera Braberry 2008

Make your own conclusions.

2008-12-29T23:59:00.003+08:00

H-O-T-T-O-G-O! ZETTEN is HOT TO GO! :D

The outings with Zetten today and yesterday were absolutely amazing! Super fun and uber awesome! First roller blading in East Coast Park (I fell twice) and next day hide-and-seek in Engine and ITAS. Whoopee!

Christmas this year seems to have been a mix of good and boring, but hey, it's fine. Why? Because Christmas means family! Thought I really hate family politics, it's just so unnecessary, I mean come on, we're family, just bury the damned hatchet already! What is the bloody point of carrying on such stupid quarrels? Can't you see that it may just affect the younger generation? You're all supposed to be our parents, the ones we look up to, but look at the way you all act! You all act like children with all your petty quarrels and fighting over who holds what and other stupid useless things. Pfft...

School officially started this week, but it's elearning for my course, yay us? (:

But I feel damn lazy to start on my projects. Urgh, stupid things and education. Ah well, if I want to survive, I'll just have to bear with it. So this week I'll just have to complete at least 3 things, namely ZOHO(MMP1), CMSK Report and DTAT logo designs. Better start on OOPG, haven't touched it and it's due in about 2 weeks. I still have 2 scripts to complete. AAAAHHHHHH!!!!! D:

On a slightly lighter note, I'll be commissioned to be a full fledged lector on the 3rd of January AND I'm now the Treasurer of PC! YES YES YES!!!! THANK YOU! :D

Now, to solve that problem of taking forever to upload pictures and tackling with that ever-present virus/worm in my lappie. BLEAH!

I now bid you adieu! <3

2008-12-13T14:47:00.002+08:00

Blog's been rotting for more than a month, guess it's because I just didn't feel like blogging. Hmmm... Haha, maybe it's time for a new skin, no? (:

I'm kind of pissed at a few things, but as always, I'll just keep mum about it. No point causing unhappiness if someone sees it and creates a big hoopla about it. Bleah! But there is one thing that I don't mind addressing because I really don't give a damn whether she sees it and gets angry. Honestly, pfft...

*Rant begins here, skip it if you want (: *

There was this one girl whom I was friends with in secondary school, and she's not exactly the nicest person to befriend. I've always remembered, and hated her for, criticizing my work, stating that it was too immature and stereotypical. Hello? I was 14 when I wrote those poems! I was primary 4 when I wrote that other one! I didn't even edit it when I submitted it! Who the f*ck are you to criticize it when yours isn't even a "work of art"? And seriously, what's with that stinking attitude when my poem got chosen over your best friend's? Sore much? Seriously, I hope you've actually gotten rid of that stupid high and mighty attitude of yours after all these months. Pfft, and you call me immature...

I'd love to put your name here, but I'm not like you whereby I'd just put the first and last name of the person you and your best friend claim to not like. Read my lips: Whatever biatch! ^^

*Rant ends here (: *

Haha, ok that was a really immature rant but I don't care. Hee hee...

2008-10-30T20:16:00.000+08:00

I've overstepped the boundaries one too many times.

2008-10-26T18:16:00.002+08:00

Is it possible to hate someone whilst you're supposed to care for him?

Damn him.

You know what? I wish that I were blind and deaf to it all.

Screw this, I need a distraction. A super big one.

2008-10-25T12:32:00.002+08:00

When I blow out the candles tonight, I know exactly what to wish for. (:

And if what I've wanted since yesterday does come true, then it'd really make my day.

...

Okay, it just happened.

YAY! :D

2008-10-25T01:11:00.005+08:00

First off, I have to say this. Today was one of the greatest days of my life, the first time I celebrated my birthday with friends. I mean seriously, I feel so touched, so blessed to have such great and wonderful friends. I wish I could say this to their faces, but I know I'd just simply cry from happiness. So I'll just say it here.

To my really treasured friends Jingle, Val, Chun Chee, Chun Sian, Kok Peng and Gerald, thank you all so much for being friends with me. I know that I've only known you guys for a few months, but this friendship is something that I would never trade for in a million years. It's because of you guys that for once, I love being in school. Before I met you guys, I always dreaded school because everywhere I looked, I saw groups of friends but had none myself. But now, I look forward to school because I can get to see you guys, to just have fun and hang with friends. Thank you so much. I love you guys to the very core. <3

Today was great, I loved it. I had pizza with Jingle, Val, CC, CS and J before the guys departed, leaving just Jingle, Val and me. After booking the tickets, we had Haagen Dasz ice-cream. Jingle had Chocoholic, Val had Berry Cold and I had Cookie Crunch. Hee hee, I love cookies and cream. <3

After that we watched "High School Musical 3: Senior Year" which was an absolutely crazy cool show! IMDB.com should totally give it a better rating! The songs were all pretty catchy, though I personally loved "Can I Have This Dance".

After that we all headed home, and I took the long way home which was basically taking bus 27 to Changi Airport and back home, so like a round about turn. Hahaha... Then Mom "surprised" with an extra birthday gift which I knew she put a lot of thought into. She always does this every year which is something I love. (:

Now, here's a peek at my presents so far. Their all from Mom. Tee hee...

Hohoho, only more than half day till I'll officially be seventeen 'cause according to mum, I was born at 2131. :3

2008-10-23T09:03:00.002+08:00

Why do school mornings have to feel just at the right temperature to sleep? Bleah... The keyboard in MMP1 lab sucks, or rather just the space bar... Urgh... -.-"

Whatever. Hahaha... xD

2008-10-22T21:55:00.004+08:00

You know what? I liked today. Ask me why and I'd probably just give you a goofy grin. (:

Hope everyone starts to feel better though. Joie de Vivre! Carefree enjoyment of life! I know, crazy right? I was just moping like crap for a week and then it hit me, why be sad when you can just be happy? Like a friend once told me, whatever happens now, whatever problems you have, it'll all just pass with time. I'm not saying you should totally ignore your problems, but just relax a little every now and then. Vent if you must, but ultimately try your best to be happy.

Happiness is a fickle thing at times, but it all boils down to whether one chooses to be happy. If at the beginning of the day, you decide you feel crappy, then you'll have a crappy day. BUT if you decide that you feel happy, then you'll have a happy day!

Everyone makes mistakes, no one is perfect, so just let yourself go with the flow and just deal with it! After all, it's a humans' imperfections that make them truly perfect.

Now, if only I could follow what I just wrote...

Oh well, only time will tell. (:

P.S. Cheer up and smile, ok?

Perhaps it's my own way of thinking that's made it sort of come true.

2008-10-20T21:59:00.003+08:00

Death

It lingers,
It kills,
It consumes us whole.
It devours,
It tortures,
Both young and old.

There's no way to kill it,
No way to run,
Hiding is futile
As it stalks everyone.

It's over your shoulder,
Looming behind,
It's creeping slowly,
Yet surely,
Up to your side.

One blink,
It's there,
Two blinks,
It's gone.
You'll never know when
It'll turn up once more.

Wonder if you must,
But there's no secret what it is,
It's a shadow stalking us
That'll steal you with a kiss.

Rachel Linn Vera Braberry
20.10.2008

My heart felt like a tightly coiled spring all day, just ready to snap at any given moment.

Urgh...

2008-10-19T21:33:00.003+08:00

I burnt my pinky finger with hot curry at Auntie Dot's house a few hours ago, and it's still stinging. Boo... T__T

School starts tomorrow, so yay me? Ah well, wonder how this semester will go... (:

2008-10-18T21:57:00.005+08:00

As the saying goes, "Silence is golden". I like that saying, because I love the silence. These few days seem like a blur. It's as if nothing has happened, as if they didn't exist. It's strange, like the past... It's so weird, so foreign to me. My mind is finally on a mute button, it's both a great relief as well as a pain to me. I love not being being able to hear my thoughts, but at the same time, it's messing me up so bad.

I can't seem to control anything anymore, I feel so empty like I've lost my purpose in life. I feel as good as blind. I hate this emptiness, it's like a vortex, sucking in all the happiness and leaving just an empty void.

Even right now, I can't even seem to think, I can't seem to feel anymore.

I love being alone, but I don't want to be alone anymore because it's killing me.

Someone just please tell me what to do, because I just don't know anymore.

I want friends, I really do, but I don't feel like I have any, even though I do. Even when I'm with a friend, I don't feel like I'm there, like I'm lost somewhere, or I'm just simply a stranger to them. I want that insecurity to end, to stop feeling so useless, like some mindless rag doll that follows like a damned hindrance.

Maybe being alone is what's best for me, but I don't want to be alone. I want to be able to keep a smile on without it just fading away.

Dammit, I'm just blathering on, crapping and ranting, just ignore this and I'll soon resume to being my old happy self.

Screw this, my head needs a vacation, and maybe a psychiatrist.

2008-10-11T22:41:00.000+08:00

New blog <3

Woooo hoooo!!!!!

Now if only I had something interesting to blog about...

Maybe tomorrow! Heh heh... (:

Wanna know why tomorrow, and not now? :3

Because tomorrow is super packed from morning to night! Man I love Sundays. <3

Especially this Sunday. ^^

Morning: Personi Christi/Church <333333

Afternoon: Watching Val's musical (:

Night: Audition for "Paul the Musical" xD

Wheeeeeee~

Guess what song I'm gonna sing tomorrow. Guess guess guess!!!!

"Part of Your World" and "This is Me".

Hope I get the part. ^^ <3

Today I feel happy, wanna know whhhhyyyy???

Because I found out that I'm going to get what I've always wanted for my birthday!

A PS3!

Awesomeness!!!!

And I already know what games I wanna buy. :D

Heavenly Sword! Soul Caliber IV! Devil May Cry 4! Grand Theft Auto IV!

Bring on the carnage and violence people, 'cause Rachel's lovin' them. <33333